Parenting: TODDLER TANTRUMS

By Alison Canavan

Now coping with your kid’s behaviour can be tricky as I recently learned. I’m pretty lucky James has been a golden child of sorts until now (besides teething and not sleeping, colds, coughs, you get the picture!). But recently in a shopping centre that all changed. He threw an almighty tantrum and I have never felt so helpless. Now it wasn’t for any reason mind you. He wanted to walk and refused to get in his buggy. I wouldn’t have any problem with him walking other than he’s tiny, never wants to go in the same direction as you and wants to sit on the ground every so often in the middle of a packed centre on the 1st day of the sales!

He arched his back and people stared. I did everything I said I’d never do like bribe him with chocolate but nothing worked until we got outside. James has become or at least tried to become independent of sorts lately which is fine if he wants to get a job, an apartment and move out but that’s not going to happen I’m told for 18 years or if you’re my Mother and you gave birth to us 33 years. We’re like boomerangs and just keep coming back.

On a more serious note dealing with a tantrum can be difficult for parents. Know that tantrums are a normal stage of a toddler’s development though and can’t always be avoided. There is a wealth of different opinions as to how to cope but most importantly you don’t want them to continue longer than they should. Have you noticed they always happen when you tell your child ‘NO’?

So as payback your toddler will try to test their boundaries and push you as far as they can. They can wail, kick, bite, arch their back, scream and much more. It’s pretty impressive stuff but you don’t want them to use it every time something doesn’t go their way. One trick I’ve been told by many parents is to come down to their level and make eye contact with them, talk calmly and try to stay calm yourself. Children will usually give a few warning signals before they have a tantrum and you know your child best so try to distract at this stage. Toddlers love to be the centre of attention and sometimes for the wrong reasons so when they are behaving well praise them even more and get down to their level, play and interact. The Royal college of phychiatrists recommends ignoring a tantrum as best you can and continue to do what you are doing like chatting or cooking but obviously make sure your child is safe.

As soon as you see your child calming down praise them and give them back your full attention. Rewarding good behaviour will encourage them to be good. Bring their favourite toy or book with you if you’re going out and they’re favourite snack or treat. Try raisins or Ella’s biscuits. Know that you’re not alone but also know that screaming back doesn’t work either. You are the only person that knows your child and if you think or feel the behaviour is more than a tantrum than ask your doctor or a health professional for help. Now I’m off to try all these tips myself… Wish me luck!!!

Ali x